I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
