yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
