i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I could fuck to npr.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
