The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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