What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
