btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
bring money and cleavage
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
