# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
