the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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