therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
