His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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