kristin has been a bad kristin
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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