Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
