just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
"it" just moved
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
