If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
