Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
