his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
