East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
