your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
