The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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