How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
