Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
