My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
