I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
