called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
