The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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