are you so shy because you have an std?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
