I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
