Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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