i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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