Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
