I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
