there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
