I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
