You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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