Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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