i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
