im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's the barista slut.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
