I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
