I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
