i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
