Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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