so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
