there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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