i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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