I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
