Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
