Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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