Duck Duck Cougar?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
