I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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