dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
