Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
