Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm getting married
To pizza
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
