worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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