My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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