So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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